I’m long over due in sharing a secret obsession I have developed. Apparently, according to Juicepress NY, coconut is a popular lubricant for the soul. I began taking yoga classes, almost daily at the Integral Yoga Institute, a heavenly place to bring your practice to, about 1 month ago. Incidentally, just as I had started taking these classes, a new cold press juice company opened on the adjacent corner, at Horatio St. and Greenwich Ave, which made me curious how Juicepress’s coconut meat/milk was comparing to Organic Avenues, a competitor, only a few blocks away. I walked into Juicepress not thinking it was going to be an easy fight to win, the one over me, the customer. I scanned the racks and rows of just pressed juices, stocked behind the fridge doors. I grabbed a white bottle of Lait de coconut, their $13.07 a pop, coconut meat and milk cold press fix. As I walked to the pay counter, I noticed something unusual for a juice place. Not far from the Lait de coconut stock, was another coconut product, made of pure virgin organic coconut oil. Ladies and gents, you can now buy your sex lube in the same place as a juice purchase. Holy coconuts, I thought. What was going on?!
I inspected the entire packaging of my first Juicepress purchase. I thought, I better not like these too much. $13 wasn’t a cheap treat! I love Juicepress labels. They have all these benefit descriptions of what you are about to consume, and how it will make you healthier.
I cracked the seal, and went for the first gulp, remembering to chew my juice, as this helps to alkalize the elixir and preps for digestion. (This is a tip I learned through Organic Avenue, and one that I know is universal to drinking juices, chew your juice!) I instantly became a fan. By the second gulp, I became a lover and by the time I finished all $13 of my drink (aprox. 3 mins later) I was a full on brand ambassador. The Lait de coconut is an experience, much like arriving at a distant land for the first time, and smelling the new air there, as you take off your sandals and begin exploring new terrain. It’s silky texture, leaves you feeling loved and caressed as if in the arms of your lover. This has resulted in a chronic affliction on my end. I crave the love of Lait de coconut. The taste of paradise, an island escape comes to mind, each time I open a new bottle. Silky, smooth, creamy perfection. Lubricating the soul, the mind and the body in a gentle loving way.
Aside from leaving your taste buds extremely sexually satisfied, I’ve come to learn, there are other sensual ways of using organic coconut bi-products. I own a body oil made of pure organic coconut oils, and use it to moisturize dry skin, which it’s great for. Never have I ever seen coconut oil marketed as a sex lube, though! And this is why Juicepress is genius. They are pushing the envelope with what organic means today, what we put on our bodies, and how everything makes a difference. I feel like in a few years, they will be as big as Starbucks, and even more profitable. There is no way old ladies diarrhea can compete with a immune-boosting, love caressing formula of a cold press elixir!
Oh and another thing. I asked the counter person on my way out, if they have any kind of cool loyalty program for big fans. She said, “We do but it’s not your usual loyalty card with punch marks. If you pay us $100 extra at the time of any purchase, we give you 10% off on any future purchase for life!” Now that’s fun! I loved the relationship building concept of forever. Those Juicepressers, they are on to something!
Go on, try it. No pressure. Just cold pressers. Lubrication for the soul.